


Coffee, Tea or Me?

by CumberCurlyGirl



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Anal Sex, Bakery and Coffee Shop, Crossdressing, Joltolock, M/M, Military Kink, Name-Calling, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Rough Sex, She/her pronouns used, Sherlock in Heels, Sherlock is a slut, Sherlock is acting out a fantasy, Spanking, Threesome - M/M/M, Top John Watson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2019-07-12 15:40:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15998273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CumberCurlyGirl/pseuds/CumberCurlyGirl
Summary: John and James pick up a cross-dressing Sherlock in a coffee shop.





	Coffee, Tea or Me?

**Author's Note:**

> For FinAmour's Always1895 September Prompt "Coffee Shop". Special thanks to Kameodouglas for beta'ing
> 
> Soooo. Everyone has their own fantasies so I figure there is no right or wrong here. I use she pronouns for Sherlock because he is playing the part of a woman in the fantasy that he’s fulfilling. If this is not your “cup of tea” (or coffee), please, please don't read it.

Most Sunday mornings, John and James have breakfast at the Nordic Café in Soho, an establishment famous for its Scandinavian cinnamon buns. It’s a twenty-minute walk from their flat, and on a pleasant May morning such as this, it makes for an enjoyable stroll and they tell themselves that the exercise at least partially offsets the calories of the decadent pastries.

James settles into a chair at their favourite table while John orders. Earl Grey tea for himself and a double shot latte for James. And three cinnamon buns. They will split the third. John brings their order back to the table and sits beside James. They sip their drinks and James people watches as John reads the sports page of the _Telegraph_. Their legs rest comfortably against one another's under the table.  

“John, look,” whispers James, tilting his head towards the back of the cafe.

John glances up from his paper.  At a small table, facing them, is a tall woman with dark wavy hair, looking down intently at her mobile so that John can’t quite see her face. She is wearing a red dress, rather sexy for a Sunday morning, John thinks, but then again, this _is_ Soho. His gaze slides down to the strappy high heeled sandals on her large feet.  Her toes are painted red to match her dress.

“What?” he asks James, unsure of why he’s pointed her out.

“She was here last week too. I remember her, mostly because she’s so tall. Give her a closer look.”

The woman looks up and John sees the most beautiful blue/grey eyes, wide set, slightly slanted and framed by long black lashes. She’s looking directly at him. He inhales sharply when he realizes that this is not a woman but appears to be a man in drag. Her features, while somewhat delicate, are masculine and her brows are un-plucked. 

He slowly sips his tea and the “woman” picks up her cup and sips also, mirroring John’s action, not breaking eye contact.  After drinking, she slowly and deliberately licks her lower lip as if to catch a drip of coffee.  And winks.

“James…”

“I know.”

 John turns to James and they look at each other, communicating silently with their eyes.  James raises an eyebrow gives a slight nod.   _Let’s go for it._   

 John rises and walks casually over to the table where the tall man-dressed-as-a-woman is sitting.  

“Good morning... Miss?"

The woman smiles and raises her cup in response. "Yes, that works."

“Mind if I sit?”

She shrugs.

John sits across from her and leans back in the chair, studying her. She’s pale and thin, but definitely a man, no breasts. But those lips though.  Painted red, they are lush and full and John wants to bite them.

“Name’s John.” He extends his hand.

"Pleased to meet you, John, I’m Sherlee.  S. H. E. R. L. E. E.," she spells it out as she shakes his hand and her voice is low, smooth and delicious, and, coming from that scarlet mouth, causes a stirring in John’s trousers.  He swallows hard. 

“You were here last week?” John asks.

“Yes.”

“My friend James noticed you.”

“You come here every week, and I believe he is a bit more than your friend,” Sherlee states with a slight smirk.

“We do, and he is. How did you know?”

“I’ve been watching you for some time.”

“I think we would have noticed you before.”

“Well, I don’t always look like…this.” Sherlee grins and makes a gesture over her dress.

“Oh, right — wait...actually I'm not quite sure I —“

She leans forward.  "I'm a man John.  All of me. But I'm playing today; do you want to play with me? I think James does.”

"Um. Yes… OK,“ John can scarcely believe their good fortune and he glances over his shoulder at James, who is watching them intently.

“Our flat is about a twenty-minute walk from here.”

Sherlee pops the last of a cinnamon bun into her mouth and licks her fingers seductively.

Smiling at John’s gaping look, she glances down at her high heeled shoes. “Mind if we take a cab? I’m really not used to these.”

 

 ********

 

Sherlee sits between them in the back of the cab on the short ride to the flat. James's hand strokes her bare thigh where her dress is hiked up and John nuzzles her long neck. Her scent has hints of coffee, vanilla and cedar wood. “You smell amazing,” he whispers.

“Black Opium,” Sherlee says.

They ignore the cabbie’s interested glances in the rear-view mirror.

 

********

 

James holds Sherlee’s hand as they climb the stairs to the flat and John follows, admiring the view.  As they go up, he can’t help but grab a handful of Sherlee’s small round arse. 

Once inside the door, no time is wasted; James pulls Sherlee against him and kisses her. “So, what do you like darling?” he asks.

“I like soldiers.”

“How did you know we were soldiers?”

“It’s my job to know things, to observe things. You two are obviously ex-military. You’ve both been injured. You, it’s painfully obvious,” she says to James, tracing a long red-tipped finger over his scarred face. “Him, not so obvious, except to me.”

“Hmmm… pretty and smart,” John laughs. “I’m John Watson, I was a Captain in the Fifth Northumberland Fusiliers and this is Major James Sholto, my commanding officer.”

“I don’t suppose you have your uniforms around…”

John and James exchange a glance and they both grin. “Sure we do. Shall we put them on?” John asks.

“I would like that very much, I’ll make it worth the effort.”

The retreat into the bedroom and Sherlee settles on the sofa.

They undress and John goes to the wardrobe to find their old uniforms and James retrieves their I.D. discs from a box in the underwear drawer.

“Seems a lot of trouble to go through just to take them off again,” James says.

“Let’s just go with the trousers and I.D.s then.”

John reaches for James and drags his thumb over his lips, to wipe off the traces of red there and gives him a deep kiss, pressing his body against his former commanding officer. They are naked and skin of James's body feels warm and electric and John presses his half hard penis against James’s thigh, while James presses his own against John’s stomach. “Let’s not keep her waiting,” says James into John’s mouth.

Eschewing underwear, they pull on their uniform trousers and put their I.D. discs around their necks. Then to complete the effect, add their berets. John helps James with his trousers to make things go faster. James’s injured left arm, while not useless, isn’t fully functional.

John catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He’s compact and strong, he hasn’t let himself go since being invalided from the Fusiliers. He’s got a decorative tattoo circling his right biceps and another, of the fusilier’s emblem, on his chest just below his scar, as does James.

“Yes, you’re handsome love,” says James. “Stop staring at yourself and let’s get out there and take care of that hot piece of arse.”

When they walk back into the sitting room, Sherlee is on the sofa, legs crossed, re-applying lipstick.  When she sees them she smiles appreciatively, licking her lips.

They join her on the sofa, one on either side.

John takes her head in his hands and pulls her to him, he can’t wait to taste those full red lips. His tongue finds hers and they explore each other’s mouths hungrily. Her lips are soft and she tastes delicious, just as he expected. Like coffee and sweetness, with a hint of tobacco. He feels a shiver of anticipation run up his spine and he holds her close. 

James is kissing her shoulder as her back is somewhat turned to him as she kisses John. He unzips her dress and pulls it down, exposing creamy white skin and the top of a black corset.  He licks up her spine from the top of the corset to the black curls at the nape of her neck. She moans and shivers and her hand begins to rub over the bulge in John’s trousers as they continue to kiss.

“Get that dress off, and that’s an order,” says James huskily.

"Yes, Sir." Sherlee pulls away from John and stands up. She reaches behind her back and finishes unzipping the dress, then slips it from her shoulders and lets it drop to the floor before stepping out of it.  The black corset stops just beneath her delicate pink nipples and her chest has a smattering of dark hairs.  Her hips are narrow and below the corset, she’s wearing lacy black knickers that don’t quite cover her cock and bollocks. Her face is smeared red with lipstick, and she stands there, looking down at them, waiting.

“Bloody hell,” John whispers.

“Fuck,” James says, simultaneously.

“Use me, gentlemen,” Sherlee says.

Not needing to be asked twice, James barks “Suck me with that pretty mouth, bitch,” and Sherlee obediently drops to her knees between his thighs. She unbuttons and unzips his trousers and takes out his penis, large even though it’s not yet fully hard. She smiles as she pulls back the foreskin and licks around the head delicately. James’s head falls back against the back of the sofa and he puts his good hand on the top of Sherlee’s head.

“Fuck, yes,” he says as his fingers grasp the curls and he pushes  Sherlee’s head down, driving his cock into her throat.  

“You like it rough then?” John asks. He’s undone his own trousers and is stroking himself as he watches.  

Sherlee nods as best she can as James fucks her mouth.

John slides down to the floor to kneel beside her.

“You are bloody gorgeous,” he says as he slides a hand over her arse.  He pulls down the knickers so that they are around the tops of her thighs and continues to caress the smooth cheeks. When he pinches one, Sherlee hums with pleasure.

“Alright then,” John says and slaps her arse hard with his open hand.  It makes a resounding “smack” and Sherlee moans around James’s cock. Encouraged, John continues, timing his spanks with James’s thrusts.

“Ohh, not yet,” James says after several minutes, pulling out of Sherlee’s mouth.  “I don’t want to come yet.” She lays her head on his lap and moans as John continues to spank her until his hand hurts too much to keep going and her arse is bright red.

John plants a kiss on one burning cheek and then stands, pulling her with him.  In her heels, she is quite a bit taller than him and bending only slightly, he laps at one nipple, then pulls it into his mouth. Sherlee arches her back and reaches for her cock, stroking it as John suckles.

James has risen too and he stands behind Sherlee, kissing her neck as she masturbates and John continues to play with her nipples.

“Are you a slut?” James whispers into her ear.

“Yes,” gasps Sherlee, her head thrown back and eyes closed.

“What do sluts want?”

“Cocks.”

James looks at John and smiles.  John smiles back and they kiss as they press her between them.

They confer for a moment and decide on a plan of action.

They guide Sherlee to kneel on the sofa with her elbows resting on the back and John walks behind it and kneels to kiss her while James retrieves lube and a condom from a drawer in the coffee table.  John holds her face and bites at the full lower lip as James works lube into her arse. James pulls off the black knickers so that Sherlee can spread her legs unimpeded although she is still wearing the corset and red heels.

James stands behind her and grasps her hips, guiding his cock to her arsehole and presses against it.  She sighs into John’s mouth as he slips just the head inside, then out again.

“Is that what you want, slut?”

“Yes,” Sherlee moans.

“Then ask for it.”

“Please fuck me, Major.”

James thrusts forward and buries himself in her and she lets out a deep throaty “Ahhhhhhhhh” that travels straight to John’s cock as he watches her face contort in a mixture of pleasure and pain. The sound of that baritone voice coming from a man in drag does something to him and he is momentarily distracted from his own needs as he watches her.  She is so strangely beautiful and he finds himself hoping she’ll linger when this encounter is over.

Finally, John stands and Sherlee opens her mouth obediently, tongue extended, waiting,  looking up at him through the riot of curls with those amazing eyes and John thinks he might lose it right then. But he doesn’t. Not yet. Instead, he watches in fascination as his erection disappears into her mouth.

It’s hot and wet and silky and John has to resist the urge to thrust hard. He doesn’t want to choke her. He holds the sides of her head as he rolls his hips. He was so consumed by her face and now by the exquisite feel of her mouth that he has almost forgotten James. Now he glances up and sees him pounding into Sherlee, his mouth is open and beads of sweat gather on his brow before dripping down to land on Sherlee’s haunches.  Each thrust pushes her forward onto John’s cock and she takes nearly all of it down her throat. _She does have an incredibly long neck_.

The two men exchange grins.  This has turned out to be anything but another lazy Sunday morning.

James increases the speed of his hips and clenches his teeth. “I’m going to come slut,” he groans, and with one final thrust he buries himself to the hilt and spills inside her.

It’s now just John and Sherlee. She reaches for her hard and neglected cock as John continues to fuck her mouth.  She raises her eyes to him and winks as she sucks on the head like a lollipop.

John feels his bollocks tighten as his climax approaches.  He lets out a long breath as it builds in his groin. He can’t stop it now. He steps back and takes hold of his penis, stroking it quickly and then watches as ribbons of semen shoot out and land on Sherlee’s lipstick smeared face, dripping into her open mouth as she extends her tongue to catch as much as she can.  He can’t take his eyes off of her as the last spasms of his orgasm fade.

She’s still stroking herself as John vaults the back of the sofa. James has disposed of the condom and joins them. They seat her between them and each pulls one of her knees over his own so that her legs are spread. John replaces her hand with his on her cock as James cups her bollocks.

“Come, baby,” John whispers in her ear as he pulls and twists.   

“Come for me slut,” whispers James in the other.

Her eyes are closed and she seems lost in ecstasy. The come that she couldn’t reach with her tongue drips from her chin and lands on her chest.  

“I’m going to... ahhhhh,” she moans as she thrusts up into John’s fist and they watch as she climaxes, John watching her face and James watching her cock as it pumps hot, thick liquid over John’s hand and the black satin of the corset.  She drops her head onto John’s shoulder, spent, and he strokes her hair.

As she cuddles against John, James fetches a damp flannel and cleans her stomach and face.

“Will you stay for a bit?” John asks her.

"I'd like that."

“Why don’t we take a little nap?” James suggests.

They rise and James leads the way to the bedroom and John holds Sherlee’s hand as they follow.

“Would you mind unlacing me?” Sherlee asks.

“Of course.”

He loosens the laces and she pushes the corset down over her hips to the floor before stepping out of it.  Now she is naked but for her red heels and she sits on the edge of the bed to remove them.

“Let me,” John says, and he kneels in front of her. He unbuckles one ankle strap and pulls off the shoe, rubbing her foot before removing the other one. He rubs that foot too and pulls it to his mouth, placing a kiss on each red painted toe.

The men remove their trousers and they all climb into bed, Sherlee in the middle, and they doze off in a tangle of arms and legs.

 

********

 

John wakes slowly. Yawns. Rubs his eyes. _What time is it?_  He glances at the clock on the bedside table. 2:00 p.m.  His stomach is gurgling, it’s past lunchtime.  He looks at the woman/man sleeping next to him. _Sherlee._ She is asleep on her side, facing him and James’s arm is around her. They are spooning and James is snoring softly against her shoulder.  John gazes at her serene expression.  Who is this strange creature they’ve taken into their bed?  They’ve barely spoken but he is captivated by her. Or him. John doesn't care which, and he finds himself wanting to know more about this man when the game is over.  He reaches out and traces a fingertip across her cheekbone.

She opens her eyes.

“Captain,” she says drowsily.

“Hey.”

He kisses her lightly on the lips. “Who are you _really?_ ” he asks quietly, so as not to wake James.

My name’s Sherlock but today I’m Sherlee. For you I’m Sherlee, Captain.”

“You do this a lot?”

Sherlee smiles. “No, I bought those clothes for a case.  I’m a detective and I needed to be a cross-dresser to infiltrate a crime ring.  Except when I put these clothes on I found that I liked it. I grew my hair a bit longer and found that I liked that too. I guess you could say that I like to be pretty, always have. I used to wear my mum’s clothes when I was younger… but I stopped when my brother caught me.  He shamed me so badly that I never did it again – until now. When I observed you and your friend about a month ago in the coffee shop I thought maybe you’d be interested.”

“Just by looking at us?”

“Yes, by observing – I’m rather good at that – a detective, remember? I took a chance, yes, but I’m rarely wrong. I was spectacularly right in this case. This has been a fantasy of mine and so far it has exceeded my wildest expectations.”

They are just inches apart and John can feel her breath warm against his cheek.  He is mesmerized by her eyes which are a mix of grey and green and blue with the tiniest gold flecks.  It’s not just the colour but what John can see behind them. _Eyes are the window to the soul_ he remembers from somewhere.

“You were amazing. You _are_ amazing,” John says.

Sherlee smiles, a beautiful, brilliant smile that makes John’s insides flip.

“I like it when you say that, Captain,” she says as she fingers his I.D. discs.

John kisses her again and James stirs, opening his eyes.

“Hey, you two.  Don’t start without me--”

Sherlee pulls away from John and turns her head to find James’s mouth.

“Of course not Major.” she purrs against his lips.

They press her between them. James kissing her lips and John working his way down that endless neck, licking and biting.

John feels his cock coming to life again and he grasps her hips, pulling her against him, feeling her swelling penis against his, even as James pulls her back onto his own, rutting against her buttocks.

James breaks the kiss with Sherlee to find John’s mouth and their lips are joined over her shoulder as they both press into her, back and front. Three becoming one.  They move together with the exquisite friction of their bodies bringing a pleasure that precludes all other thought. Rocking and sighing and _feeling_.

Sherlee is the one to break the trance-like state.

“I’ve had the Major inside me. I want you now, Captain.”

John rolls to his back and pulls her with him.

“Yes. God yes.”  He scoots to a semi-sitting position against the pillows with Sherlee straddling him.

James retrieves a bottle of lube from the bedside table and hands a condom to Sherlee who rolls it onto John, making a show of it, oohing and aahing. “You boys don’t disappoint a girl in the size department,” she coos.

James lubes his fingers and works them into Sherlee, who squirms with pleasure.

When she is ready, James guides John into her.  She sinks down slowly, John is thick and she is tight.

John’s mouth drops open as he watches her lower herself onto him.  Feels her smooth tightness squeezing him.  He closes his eyes and flashes of light dance behind his eyelids.  He wants to grab her and pull her down, but he resists, letting her control the motion.

Finally, her body rests against his. She stays still for a moment and blows out a breath as her body adjusts. Then she grasps the headboard and begins to move slowly, up and down.  She looks straight at him, into him even. John is transfixed as he watches her ride, she is so beautiful with her white skin and dark curls, fine cheekbones streaked with mascara that has run, _and those singular eyes_.

James is kneeling beside them now and John reaches for his cock. Sherlock breaks eye contact with John and turns to meet James’s lips with her own while bringing her other hand to her own dripping erection.

The afternoon sun paints their bodies with stripes of gold as they move together in perfect synchronicity.  There is no sound except for laboured breathing, punctuated by moans, and the occasional “oh god” and “fuck, yes”.

James comes first and his semen decorates John’s chest, and John leans to catch as much of it as he can with his tongue.  After a few more strokes into Sherlee, John follows, grasping her hips and pulling her down hard while bucking his own up into her, closing his eyes as fireworks explode behind his eyelids.

While John is still recovering from the aftershocks of one of the best orgasms of his life, James bends and takes Sherlee into his mouth. John draws his knees up so that she can lean against them, still impaled on his softening cock as James sucks her. It doesn’t take long and when she comes, James swallows every drop.

Sherlee lets John slip out and rolls to lie between them again. They are sweaty, and exhausted and completely sated.   

“Cigarette?” she asks.

James picks up a pack from the bedside table and lights one for each of them.

John, being a doctor and disapproving of smoking, abstains.

“What do you think John, should we keep her?” James asks, blowing out a stream of smoke and watching it dance and curl in the sunbeams above them.

“I think it could work,” answers John, picking up Sherlee’s hand and bringing it to his lips.

Sherlee smiles and breathes out a contented sigh. “My very own soldiers. I might need to buy another dress.”

They lie is silence for a few moments longer and then John says, “I’m hungry. Let’s eat lunch.”

They all agree.


End file.
